On forgiveness

“To forgive is to set a prisoner free and discover that the prisoner was you.” - Lewis B. Smedes
“The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong.” - Mahatma Gandhi
"The hatred you're carrying is a live coal in your heart, far more damaging to yourself than to them." - Lawana Blackwell
"Holding a grudge is like taking poison and waiting for the other person to die" - unknown

I came to a few realizations yesterday. One of these is that I have to acknowledge my own culpability in the situation that has had me so stressed the past while. I saw only what I wanted to see, and didn't see what I didn't want to, until the illusion was fully unmasked and I had no choice but to admit reality. That I was deceived is partly my fault, though it does not excuse the other party's actions. And so a good deal of my anger really should be directed at myself for being so naïve.

The other realization is that I really do need to forgive and move on. I was reading C.S.Lewis' The Weight of Glory last night, and one of the pieces that appeared was "On Forgiveness" - as if to nudge my mind down the path it seems hesitant to tread. Forgiveness is not excusing the wrong (although there may be some mitigating circumstances to be found), nor is it pretending the wrong never happened. It doesn't mean we should continue to trust when it has proven folly to do so, or to throw good money after bad. But it does mean moving on, leaving all the resentments, bitterness, hatred, and injured pride behind. Objectively accepting the reality of the situation, taking whatever life lessons need to be applied if necessary.

My anger injures no one but myself (and likely causes amusement to the other party). It's time for me to let go of that. This anger is a waste of energy, a source of stress that I really don't need.